Talking to a parent about a care home can be one of the hardest conversations a family has. There is no perfect way to do it, but some approaches tend to help.

Start early, if you can

It is easier to talk about the future before there is a crisis. Ask what they would want if they could no longer manage at home. Their answer can guide decisions later.

Choose the moment

Pick a calm time, in a familiar place, when no one is rushed. Avoid starting the conversation straight after a fall or an argument.

Listen first

Ask how they feel about managing at home, and what worries them. They may fear losing independence, leaving their home or being forgotten. Those fears are real and worth talking about.

Talk about what matters to them

Ask what is important to them day to day: their routine, their faith, their garden, their pets, their friends. A good care home can often keep many of these things going. For example, at Cedar House residents can bring their own furniture and photos, keep their own GP if the GP agrees, and have visitors at any time.

Give them choices

Involve them in looking at homes. Visit together if possible. Let them choose between options rather than presenting a decision that has already been made.

Think about a trial

A short respite stay can be a gentle way to try a care home without committing to a permanent move.

Get support

Other family members, the GP, a social worker or a trusted friend can help. If your parent lacks capacity to make the decision, it must be made in their best interests, involving them as much as possible.

It may take more than one talk

People often need time to get used to the idea. Come back to it, gently.

If you would like to talk things through with us, call Cedar House on 01375 768505 or arrange a visit.

Talking to a parent about moving into a care home